collateral ponderings

listening with our whole selves - I don’t know if I heard someone else say this recently or if it came into my head of its own accord, but its been rattling there for the last couple weeks. Its rattling around alongside these two things as well.. 1. Accomplices “listen with respect”, are explicit about their own agendas, are realized through … Continue reading listening with our whole selves
grieving in the ocean shallows - “ Grieving for someone is like standing in the shallows of the ocean. You are always kind of standing in it, but every so often a wave of it washes over [you]…” — Susan Bro, interview on BBC Global News Podcast August 5, 2018 There I was in the groove of the morning routine, water … Continue reading grieving in the ocean shallows
kaizen, a series of small epiphanies and process of renewal - Unfortunately, I don’t recall where I came across a recent reference to “kaizen”, it was something about Toyota’s internal business practices. The article and Wikipedia both define kaizen as the ‘continual improvement of a system via many small changes’. Incremental evolution. Persistent becoming. And then Elon Musk, who counsels us in a recent article in … Continue reading kaizen, a series of small epiphanies and process of renewal
choreography as method of resisting certainty - I have these two very different choreographies floating through my head right now. Somehow they are trying to have a conversation there. Both of them bringing beauty into the world and both of them working powerfully on me. One makes the molecules in my body feel a kind of tantalizing, joyful, excited optimism for the … Continue reading choreography as method of resisting certainty
man and his pain - Perhaps it is because I grew up in a family where “contemplating the infinite” was code for taking a shit, but somehow it seems to me that the most stunning aesthetic beauty is often found in things our social norms deem most abject, most painful, most grotesque. I don’t mean some kind of noble beauty … Continue reading man and his pain
working, making, dancing in alternative sites - I recently came across a 2016 article in Dance Magazine, “The 4 Cardinal Rules of Site-Specific Performance” and I will confess, at first glance, I had a strong negative reaction to it. The rules the author laid out were as follows: 1. Don’t Get Too Attached 2. Keep Your Distance (In Mind) 3. Go Outside … Continue reading working, making, dancing in alternative sites
the unfathomable - I sit somewhere at a confluence of many, but perhaps most acutely my understanding of our struggle in the world and in art is colored by my (mis)readings and interpretations of on the one hand, the “Godfather of the American avant-garde” Richard Foreman, and, on the other, one of butoh’s founders Tatsumi Hijikata. I see … Continue reading the unfathomable
the lonesomeness of the ocean - “Then we set down on the sandy bottom where the water was about knee-deep, and watched the daylight come. Not a sound anywheres — perfectly still — just like the whole world was asleep…we would watch the lonesomeness of the river.” – Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. There are so many pans clanging … Continue reading the lonesomeness of the ocean
unfamiliar wonder - About a month ago, the universe decided to remind me of the precariousness and uncertainty of the human condition. Since then, I have been burrowed down deep, nursing physical and emotional wounds, glad for the protective cover of trees and distance from civilization. Eventually though, the promise of unfamiliar wonder just over that far away … Continue reading unfamiliar wonder
repetition tracking - TRIGGER: “Merging past and present, it charts a repetitive circular journey, one wherein I move around and around from place to place, then end at the location I started from….I find repetition scary. It seems to suggest a static stuck quality. It reminds [me] of the slow languid hot summer days of childhood where the … Continue reading repetition tracking
scattered honey wits - Do you remember the image, I think it was of Winnie the Pooh, or at least I want that to be its origin, of fluff inside one’s head? That, being “a bear of very little brain”, white fluffy stuffing might fill the remaining void between the ears. This is how my brain feels today: fragments … Continue reading scattered honey wits
commonwealth - I attended an event this week during which one of the speakers called Massachusetts a commonwealth, and although the speaker was simply using the territory’s formal name to identify it, not necessarily trying to make some particular statement about Massachusetts, this word “commonwealth” struck me as very significant. The internets will tell you that Kentucky, Massachusetts, … Continue reading commonwealth
coastal elevators - Imagine an elevator A creaky one Perhaps a broken-down one, whose door still works, but not the up and down of it So the creak comes from the door as it opens out into the vestibule It is an old-timey elevator not a new fangled one with a sliding door that opens sideways an old … Continue reading coastal elevators
remembrance - a series of 11 cards, an accumulation of elements, a collection of thoughts, remembering a mentor
and the sky said to the ocean, I could be nothing without you - I learned a new word a few days ago, “porteño”. Basically, it means someone who lives in a port city....
puzzle factory - This is a space where I can be confused by the world, think hard about its mysteries, and work out how a myriad of reclaimed and seemingly random pieces could all fit together in some fashion that can make some kind of a sense. Because I know others are as flummoxed by existence as I … Continue reading puzzle factory
lobster bishop - The lobster, his inner parts are his embarrassment, his weak spots, the vitals he protects, his abject soul. Ball is supposed to be dressed up in a bishop’s costume, but he has always looked to me like a lobster – hard protective shell, sharp dangerous claws, soft slightly nervous green innards of incomprehensible poetry stepping … Continue reading lobster bishop
floating along on the great pacific garbage raft - Sometimes I close my eyes and see myself living on a raft that follows the currents of the ocean, slowly making its way across the liquid surface of the planet. The storms come and go reminding me of how tiny and resilient I and my raft are, punctuating the calm, steady boredom of time’s passage … Continue reading floating along on the great pacific garbage raft
kindness to strangers - “All this they did with simple kindness, talking to their guests and making them welcome, without the slightest idea that they were anything but human travelers as poor as themselves,” (Green, p44). In the Greek mythology that underpins so much of modern western ethics, the wandering man, castaways, strangers and beggars, are sacred to the … Continue reading kindness to strangers
mother ginger - I know it has its problems, but I confess, I have loved the Nutcracker since I was a toddler. And I have loved Mark Morris’ The Hard Nut since it first aired on PBS in 1991. Sometimes, I wonder if my own experience as a Polichinelle at such a young age taught me something important … Continue reading mother ginger
potatoes and pirates - Just thinking about how one’s perspective on the world changes when one’s farmland has been contaminated by geopolitics, economic adversity, governance failures, toxic waste and millions of unexploded ordinances or when one’s fishing waters have been contaminated by geopolitics, economic adversity, governance failures, toxic dumping and illegal foreign trawlers. The small harmless things begin to … Continue reading potatoes and pirates
potholes collecting lost love - The cracks.  There are so many cracks and uneven alignments in New York City’s streets the continuous decay combined with continuous construction, digging up holes, patching them back up, only to dig them up again the next week, and then the trees whose roots cannot be held captive under the cement and the ice and … Continue reading potholes collecting lost love
having ground under your feet - Remember — having ground under your feet is a privilege. Do you know what you would become without it? This is Paddy Roe. He was an elder of the Gularabulu tribe of the Nyigina aboriginal people from Roebuck Plains in Australia. He is telling a dreaming story. It is a story about the migration of … Continue reading having ground under your feet
the whisperies - Those are the fields of inquiry that I think of immediately when I read that quote from DeLillo. They are of a family for me in that they also, when you get deep enough into their practices of searching out inner consistencies, begin to understand that there is a wonder in the exceptions and imperfections. … Continue reading the whisperies
democracy as dance - In Massachusetts most towns operate in a direct democracy system rather than a representative system of legislative councils and community boards. What this means is that anyone registered to vote in the town can participate in Town Meeting and make legislative decisions impacting the town. This week I attended my first Town Meeting. 1200+ people … Continue reading democracy as dance
a small dance of reclamation - In November of 2016, like many women who have been victims of various gradations of sexual violence, assault and oppression, I found myself in shock, fear, rage and dismay. Since then I have been struggling to find a way out of a space of disempowering trauma and back to a space of action and, to … Continue reading a small dance of reclamation